The Luxury of Despair
How you can hold up hope
In the face of terrible things, it’s common to curl into despair, to freeze, to sink into inaction.
When
and I were chatting about climate change at a book event in May, we discussed how overwhelming it can feel to the average person to do anything, whether that’s change a habit toward something more sustainable, or know to whom to push for policy change.I talked about “environmental grief” a term coined by loss expert Kriss Kevorkian that we get stymied by our own feelings of loss (of the natural world, life as we know it) and Nina mentioned that many of us have “the luxury of despair.” While it’s understandable that we feel despairing in the face of what feels insurmountable, many of us also have this “luxury of despair.” Most of us aren’t climate refugees, per se, though I know plenty of people who’ve lost a home to wildfires in CA; we are relatively comfortable, probably still have air conditioning and a safe home. But many people do not have that luxury. Most of us are not living in a war zone or living in terror of deportation, afraid to venture out to work, school and leisure.
Often, when I post something on my FB page about calling one’s senators or speaking out in some way, such as to oppose Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” a few people’s response is inevitably, “what’s the point?” And let me say this: I GET IT. I am not feeling much love for senators these days, either, mine or others. I don’t think politics as usual will “save” us. But I think apathy, giving in and certitude that we can’t do anything will doom us. May we stop leaning into the luxury of despair because we still have the luxury of a life that protects us, be that due to our skin color or our socioeconomic status or other.
I’ve always loved
’s nearly one-woman campaign to hold up hope in the face of so much awful and like her book Hope in the Dark: The Untold History of People Power, she writes:“Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency. Hope should shove you out the door, because it will take everything you have to steer the future away from endless war, from the annihilation of the earth's treasures and the grinding down of the poor and marginal... To hope is to give yourself to the future - and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable.”
I love that her version of hope isn’t treacly or steeped in rose-colored glasses. It’s grounded in understanding that change is slow and often involves steps backward and most importantly: nothing will change if we stop trying.
I sit in humility knowing that marginalized groups and their ancestors have spent their lives standing up for, resisting and holding out hope despite the vast, and often unsurvivable odds imposed on them.
“My mother did not raise me to ask for permission to lead.” ― Ayanna Pressley
On behalf of all the people who can’t right now: immigrant friends terrorized into staying home, queer friends terrorized into hiding their identities, women/femmes terrorized into not getting lifesaving medical care or abortion care, I just refuse to give in to doom.
So what can we do to fight off the malaise, the despair? Pick a focus, channel your energies into it, see yourself as that proverbial finger in the dam somewhere. I hope you’ll join me.
One thing you could do today is help me help my friend
get his wife Mashal’s Afghan family to safety (ailing elders, children), out of Pakistan, where they fled two years ago. Their situation is worsened by, yes, cuts made by this current administration. Donating even as little as $5 is a concrete thing you can do, affecting a family directly that I know, whose situation I can update you on. I am personally trying to raise $1,000 through people I know—I’ve donated $100, and another friend has donated $100—$800 to go for my goal (but the larger goal is $40K). If you donate, would you please say so in the comments? TO ANYONE WHO DONATES $20 or more I will send you a free book of mine (any!). TO ANYONE WHO DONATES $100, I will give you a free self-paced class of mine!
Donate HERE.
Share the page that is helping to spread the word on FB or other socials.
Tell me one thing that gives you “hope”—no matter how small, no matter about what.
Your reviews make an author’s world go round
I picked a thing. I applied to be a "legal observer" at protests in my county, to document law enforcement activities that constitute unlawful suppression of peaceful protests. I'll go through training next weekend.
I donated and it gives me hope that no donation is too small.